Okay,
I have a new story to share with the lot of you. Recently, I have just gotten out of a thing that was almost a relationship and afterwards I had a huge crush on this guy from my favorite country, Belgium. The thing is, I have two friends who also have a crush on him. One of the girls is British with African decent and the other girl is American with Mexican decent. Since I have had previous problems with friends and boys, I decided to lie and say that I do not have a crush on this guy to his face and allow one of my friends to have him. I have never in my life done this and it is stuck in my head because I lied and also allowed potential bae to slip through my fingers. Basically, the guy doesn't like my african decent friend, but he wants to have a sex-fling type of thing with the Mexican decent girl. I thought that I was in denial because I like him, but I say that I don't. I can only tell the truth here on this blog because no one important (a.k.a. not from my uni) actually reads this blog, not that I know of, that is. So I feel bad because I have basically given away one of my most fond crushes away. I have done this in the past and I still constantly feel like I have lost the love of my life because I never tried with him. Similar things are happening now and I feel like I am repeating the past. It's amazing because I have great conversations with this guy and we have grown closer these past few weeks. I enjoy the banter that we have and also how we make fun of each other, but at the same time it is flirtatious. With the other girls I don't see the same interaction. This interaction is only with me so I am going through this feeling where I feel like I have messed up and I want to fix it, but I can't because I have strong doubts that he wouldn't even remotely be into me anyways. I am not sure, but I am going to try to ride this out and not think about it which is basically avoiding the situation. I have no strong advice except follow your gut and do not fear possibilities even if they seem impossible to you they may not be. The worst thing to do is to not try and give up because in the end, you wonder 'what if?' that is the worst feeling to have, even worst than rejection. Even with rejection, there is a form of conclusion and closure to move on instead of the way I feel where I have no clue and I am confused.
Sincerely,
True Predictions!
